A new ugly map of the Newry area has been published, showing exactly where the ugliest people live.
The map shows a high percentage of ugly people in and around Parkhead and the isolated parts of south Down and south Armagh. The map was produced by someone who had fuck all to do with their time, Liam Fatspatrick.
He told Newry Spud:
“Newry is a beautiful city but it is blighted by far too many ugly people, who seem to roam the streets with absolutely no regard for the welfare of others. Our ugly map shows where these ugly people are most likely to be and so this map can be used effectively to avoid bumping into them.”
One of those asked in the survey told Newry Spud:
“This man just came up to me, pointed in my face and said ‘He’s ugly’. Then he went off and wrote something in his writing pad and then walked off. I had no idea of what it was all about until I read this article that I’m featured in now. I find it quite offensive that I’ve been called ugly. My ma loves me and that’s all that matters.”