Newry Man ‘Never Drinking Again’ In The Hibs Club At 9am

A Newry man who woke up dying a death after a heavy session last night swore he’s never drinking again at 8:45am but is already contemplating a cure in the Newry Hibs Club at 9.30am.

Jim FatBalls who went out yesterday for ‘a few’ with the lads can’t remember coming home last night and has confirmed he woke up in a puddle of his own piss.

Jim told Newry Spud:

“Ah fuck baah, I swore to God I wasn’t going to drink again but after contemplating my life and the limited opportunites for me I decided to fuck it and go down to the Hibs for an early morning session lol.”