Camlough Woman Speaks Out About Make-Up Theft

A Camlough woman has spoken out about her heartache and sorrow after her makeup bag containing £300 worth of slap was stolen from her locker in the Newry Sports centre we can reveal. Jackie ‘Bronzer’ McCormack has said she cannot leave her home as people would not be able to recognise her without her face […]

Newry Shut Down For Annual Derrybeg Canal Wash

The Mall in Newry will be closed today from 2pm until 7pm for the annual wash of Derrybeg, Parkhead and Barcroft residents the Council have confirmed. The annual ‘Canal Wash’ is underway and is expected to see 4,623 families from the ghettos of Newry cleaned. It has been described as ‘Ireland’s biggest ever community bath.’ […]

Newry Rose Of Tralee Revealed For Tonight’s Live Event

The Newry Rose of Tralee contestant has been revealed this morning as 42 year-old Briege Fatspatrick who will appear on RTE tonight representing the parish we can reveal. Fatspatrick from the Derrybeg ghetto area has beaten off several other ladies in the tightly contested competition to show the positive image of the Greater Newry area. […]

Newry GILF’s Devestated BBC’s Poldark Is Over

The lonely grannies of the Newry area are busy looking for a new piece of fluff to strum their banjo string to after Poldark has finished for the year. With a massive following of old horny oul dolls across Newry, Poldark was central to helping GILF’s get their weekly ‘release’. One Newry GILF Lilly MeatFlapps […]