Newry Man’s Face Burned After Woman ‘Fanny Farts’ By Mistake

In what is being described as a ‘terrible and awful’ accident, a Newry man has required skin grafts and intensive counselling after his woman ‘fanny farted’ on his face we can reveal.

The man who cannot be named for legal reasons is recovering in Daisy Hill and is receiving ‘acute skin care’ and may require new eyes after they were burned beyond recognition after the tragic accident.

Daisy Hill’s skin specialist Doctor Assburn told Newry Spud:

“This is obviously a very delicate matter and the victim, a 32 year-old male from the Newry area is undergoing plastic surgery to remedy the awful burns he received at the hands of his partner who seemed to have had a ‘lapse of judgment’ and fanny farted on the unsuspecting victim’s face. Awful, awful scenes.”