‘Self Loving’ Newry Man Gets Monk Hair Cut In Honour Of Friar Tucks

A notorious self-loving Newry man has shocked his friends, his fiancée and work colleagues alike by shaving his much loved hair in homage to his favourite fast food outlet, Friar Tuck’s we can reveal.

Colly ‘Look at me’ Johnston casually walked into Master Cuts on Water Street on Saturday and demanded a ‘Friar Tuck Monk’ haircut according to shocked onlookers.

The barber on duty Conor Hughes told Newry Spud:

“When Colly came in for his usual weekly trim I was flabbergasted when he asked for a ‘Monk cut’ like his hero Friar Tuck. Colly usually likes a wee trim here and there and loves his little 1970’s chin fluff but he demanded I shave the top of his head and leave hair on the back and sides, quite strange but the customer is always right.”

We spoke with Colly this morning from Haldane Fisher and he told us:

“I’ve been contemplating life as a Cistercian Monk for some time due to my lifelong love for Newry’s best loved chicken burgers. I thought I’d start with the haircut before I consider sexual abstinence and living in a monastery.”