Most Newry Girls Wearing ‘Belly Tops’ Must Be Blind

Half of Newry girls who wear ‘belly tops’ are totally fucking blind it has been revealed today. After experiencing two days of slight sun and temperatures above minus Celsius an epidemic of women’s flabby bellies has hit the city hard. We spoke with one man who was receiving shock therapy after experiencing the hellish sight […]

South Armagh Smugglers Start ‘KickStarter’ Fundraising Campaign After Border Uncertainty

A collective of south Armagh fuel and cigarette smugglers have launched a ‘KickStarter’ campaign to help them as the uncertainty around Brexit and the border issue is causing them to loose ‘considerable business’ we can reveal. After decades of free movement from the Republic of Ireland into the greater Newry area the smuggling collective are […]