Newry Man Ju-Jitsu Artist After Watching UFC On TV

A complete and absolute cock-womble from Newry thinks he is now bulletproof after watching UFC on TV. David Hardballs who watched last week’s Conor McGregor fight on TV now thinks he is an expert in Brazilian Ju-Jitsu and will ‘bate the shite’ out of you if you look sideways at him. We spoke to Hardballs […]

Rupert Murdoch Tries To Buy Newry Spud

Rupert Murdoch has made an approach to Newry Spud in an attempt to buy the local News website we can sensationally reveal today. Murdoch who owns the company News Corporation which controls most of the mainstream newspapers has made a sizeable bid for the Newry news company. Murdoch spoke to Newry Spud today about his […]

Taxi Man Tommy ‘Van Damme’ Lambe Bans Uber From Newry

Local taxi man Tommy ‘Van Damme’ Lambe has single handily saved the Newry taxi community by forcing Uber out of Newry. The well-known taxi man who is rarely seen without his sunglasses, fingerless leather gloves and short sleeved t-shirts has visited Uber’s head office in London warning them that any Uber drivers will be mercilessly […]

Frank Mitchell New Lord Mayor Of Newry

Frank Mitchell whose real name is Francis McClory has been installed as the new Lord Mayor of Newry we can reveal. The famous UTV weatherman and U105 Radio presenter has said he is delighted to take up the post. Frank told Newry Spud: “I’m very happy to be the official face of Newry. While I […]