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Willie Frazer Gets Slab Murphy Valentine’s Day Tattoo

14th February 2019

One of the most heart warming and unexpected love stories to emerge this Valentine’s Day was that of Willie Frazer getting a tattoo on his forearm of veteran south Armagh Republican Slab Murphy we can reveal. Frazer known for his contempt of Murphy and south Armagh Republicans had a complete change of heart and had […]

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Corrinshego Man Sending Self Valentine’s Card 4th Year In A Row

13th February 2019

On the eve of the most romantic day of the year we bring you a sad and desperate case of a delusional man in love with an imaginary girl named ‘Ella’. Phelim Finnegan a 23 year-old from the small and somewhat inbred backward little place Corrinshego has been receiving Valentine’s Day cards from ‘Ella’ despite […]

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Liam Neeson Moves To Parkhead Amid Racism Controversy

9th February 2019

Hollywood superstar and county Antrim native Liam Neeson has said he will move to the slum land of Parkhead in order to get away from the recent controversy that has been surrounding him after recent alleged racist comments. Neeson who is from Ballymena so is used to living in a shit hole is said to […]

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BREXIT: Newry Chip Shops In Bidding War To Feed Newry

6th February 2019

There is a war brewing between local chip shops who have been asked by the British government to submit bids to feed all of the Greater Newry area in the event of a ‘No Deal Brexit’ after DUP MP Sammy Wilson made the appeal last week in parliament. We believe that Ned Kelly’s, Friar Tucks, […]

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Margaret Thatcher’s Daughter Joins Saoradh An Iúir

6th February 2019

News has broken this evening that the daughter of the much maligned ex British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has joined the Republican group Saoradh An Iúir. Carol Thatcher has announced on her twitter feed that she was ‘proud and honoured’ to become an active member of the Newry Republican Movement. The news has been met […]

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Lad Gets Into Back Of Border Taxi Like It’s A Fucking Limo

2nd February 2019

A 26 year-old Newry man who ordered a Border Taxi actually got into the back seat like it was some fucking kind of limo or something we can reveal. Liam Twatspatrick from Derrybeg ordered the taxi this morning and casually opened the backdoor of the car instead of sitting in the front to have the […]

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Outrage As Pablo EscoBurgers Restaurant Opens In Newry

1st February 2019

A new burger bar in Newry named after the world’s biggest cocaine dealer has come under fire from outraged members of the public we can reveal. Pablo Escoburgers which opened yesterday on Hill Street in the city serves usual chip shop food but their special ‘Pablo Escoburger’ comes with a fake line of cocaine on […]

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Former Council Chairperson Fitzpatrick To Be On Dancing On Ice

1st February 2019

Former Council Chairperson Gillian Fitzpatrick is set to appear as a surprise shock entrant in this years Dancing On Ice we can reveal. It follows her recent dance routines spotted in Bellini’s nightclub last weekend. A spokesman for Dancing On Ice told Newry Spud: “The girl has definitely got the moves. She’s got hips like a […]

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Honda To Honour Newry Woman For ‘Outstanding Loyalty’ To Her Civic

28th January 2019

A young Newry woman will be awarded by Japanese car company Honda for her ‘unwavering and loyal’ connection she has with her little Honda Civic at a function today in the Canal Court Hotel we can reveal. Shanice Boyle who has repeatedly turned down offers of more luxurious motor vehicles in favour of the little […]

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Local United Fans Slowly Crawling Out From Under Rocks

28th January 2019

Local Manchester United fans have been seen crawling out from under the large rocks that they have been hiding under for much of the last 2 months we can reveal. United who have had a remarkable change of fortunes after employing Ole Gunnar Solskjaer as their caretaker manager has also made local United fans pipe […]

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